Postive Affirmation and Following Your Heart

Just so everyone knows this blog post was inspired after reading a fair amount of feminist literature as well as a little bit of LGBT literature, however this post is going to focus more on feminism and women's rights than lesbian and gay culture as I feel I do not yet have enough knowledge to adequately write on LGBT culture.  I just want to say before anyone gets all crazy on me that I am entitled to my opinions.  If yours are different great but don't shove them in my face unless you want to discuss them like a human being.  I am a Christian and I have morals accordingly however I believe I am entitled to live my life one way and someone else has just as much of a right to live theirs the complete opposite and it doesn't mean I have to agree with it.
And so it begins...
Just the other day I was watching TV with my friend and his family it was the season premiere of Expedition Impossible and my friend kept commenting negatively on the different people in the show.  One guy was blind and I heard how retarded it was for him to be participating in this show.  Then I heard about how stupid it was for a grandpa to try to do the show.  There was a group of women from the Bronx, NY on the show called Latino Persuasion I think and he just ranted about how they needed to stop bitching and it wasn't practical for them to wear skirts and he just went on an on.  He finally hit my last straw when one of the members of the group called Country Boys was having a very hard time in the sun and the sand trekking across the Sahara Dessert.  This member just decided to sit down for about 10 minutes, and he also happened to be African American.  Well my friend found it appropriate to comment on and on and even had the audacity to say he should be used to the heat.  I played dumb and said why?  He replied well you know.  Again playing dumb I said no what could you possibly mean? He responds cotton fields.  I was horrified.  Simply horrified.

When did it become ok to judge someone based on skin color, race, religion, age, and sex?  I will be the first to admit I am guilty of doing it but today I am making a conscious decision to watch the things I say, do, and think.  I am challenging you to do it as well.  How many in your life have you been hurt by someone who made a comment that offended you.  I know for me it has been countless.  Whether it's cat calls that cross lines or even hearing from my younger siblings in the 5th grade that they bullies at their school that harass them on a daily basis. It is RIDICULOUS.  5TH GRADE PEOPLE!! 

I spent probably an hour last night on a website called microaggressions.com.  I highly recommend reading through it. Like seriously it just makes you think about how your words can make people feel.

Now to address the whole feminist spirit that has completely caught hold of me.  My passion regarding women and how they deserve to be treated has increased tenfold.  There is a tendency for our culture to blame rape on a woman rather than the man who raped her.  Because you know ladies if you are looking good and showing off cleavage or leg and wearing high heels you're just asking for it.  Heaven forbid that is crap.  Also I understand men are visual creatures and that is fine it's how God made them but for some of them to expect women to look beautiful in their standards at all times by making them lose weight or wear makeup or wear certain clothes or act a certain way. LADIES hear me here be yourself no matter what you do.

If you don't want to get married DON'T GET MARRIED.
If you want to be Catholic BE CATHOLIC.
If you want to dress risque DO IT.
If you want a boob job GET ONE.
If you are a lesbian OWN IT.  
If you don't like makeup DON'T WEAR IT.
If you want to shave your head bald DO IT! (and I'll be jealous I've always wanted to try it)
If you want to join a nudist colony GO FOR IT.
If you want to drop out of college and follow your heart by all means DO IT.
If your man doesn't meet most of your requirements DUMP HIS ASS.

*sigh* What I'm saying here is don't look for the world to affirm your decisions in life.  Look inside of you and do what matters to you.  I believe this will be a step to true happiness. 

And ladies never ever ever ever let someone talk down to you because you have breasts and a vagina.  I know I have mine but I also know I was blessed with a brain and just because my breasts are pushed up to perfection there is no reason for my intelligence to be negated.  I hope my female readers feel the same way.

Life is about choices. I choose to be positive.

Today has been a day of strong opinions. Today has been a day of being self centered. Today has been a day of thoughts. Today has been a day full of prayer. Today has been a day of tears. Today has been a day of laughter.

I've barely been able to contain all my emotion but I've realized one thing today: I am undeniably blessed.

- I have amazing parents who have been married for 20 years.

- I have a supportive family.

- I have a boyfriend who cares about me immensely.

- I have a job, two in fact.

- I have a family member who is in a place to be able to financially support me through college.

- I have the ability to walk.

- I have the ability smell the fragrance of a blooming flower.

- I have the ability to feel pain.

- I have a car.

- I have friends who are always there for me.

- I have a house to live in supplied with running water and electricity.

- I have a closet full of clothing, half of which I never wear.

- I have the time to divulge in a good book.

- I have the talent to sew a garment.

- I have a vivid imagination.

- I have more pillows that humanly necessary.

- I have the ability to go to a doctor when I am sick.

- I have 10 adorable cats, 9 of which love me dearly.

- I have access to music.

- I have overcome many things in my life.

However, more times than not I choose to dwell on negative things such as:

- I have amazing parents who have been married for 20 years but they have had some major struggles and mountains to climb.

- I have a supportive family but they tend to annoy the heck out of me.

- I have a boyfriend who cares about me immensely but what if he breaks my heart?

- I have a job, two in fact but I wish I made more money.

- I have a family member who is in a place to be able to financially support me through college but I hate school and doing homework.

- I have the ability to walk but what if I break something?

- I have the ability smell the fragrance of a blooming flower but my hometown smells more like cow poop.

- I have the ability to feel pain but it really hurts.

- I have a car but I want a better one.

- I have friends who are always there for me but what if they weren't?

- I have a house to live in supplied with running water and electricity but I am discontented.

- I have a closet full of clothing, half of which I never wear but I want to buy so many new things.

- I have the time to divulge in a good book but when do I?

- I have the talent to sew a garment but I think I am absolutely horrible at doing so.

- I have a vivid imagination but I rarely put it to good use.

- I have more pillows that humanly necessary but don't sleep perfectly on any of them.

- I have the ability to go to a doctor when I am sick but I rarely appreciate it.

- I have 10 adorable cats, 9 of which love me dearly but there is that one who is the devil's span.

- I have access to music but I hate most of the songs on the radio.

- I have overcome many things in my life but I have so far to go.

Frequently I find myself looking at my life and the things I have or am able to do in a negative way. This needs to change immediately, God did not give me this amazing life for me to wallow around in worries or pain or stress. God gives all of us the ability to life freely in him so why in the hell do we choose not to? Exactly. There is no logical reason.  Just give your crap to God, all your issues and worries, he wants it and he loves to take care of it for you.  Don't just believe it, dive in amd experience it.  Love it, love him, enjoy him, press into him, and let him be the lover of your heart.  Basically I just shared with you everthing I need to tell myself.  It's ok though, realizing you have issues is the first step to healing.  Heal me Lord and assist me in my choice to look at this amazing thing called life in a positive way.

I am a woman. I am strong. I am beautiful. I am human.

Warning: this may or may not turn into a feminist rant.

Tuesday I woke up at 4 am so I could be to work by 5:30 am in full makeup and looking fabulous. Once my shift was done I shopped at the Victoria's Secret Semi Annual Sale and bought 6 makeup items consisting of a bronzer for less than $3 as well as 5 eye shadows for $1.75! Amazing deals much?! After shopping I came home took a lovely nap woke up and spent some time online looking at random things and I came across a post on dearblankpleaseblank.com that read:

"Dear girls,

Makeup companies play on your insecurities. If you accepted yourself as being beautiful they would be out of business.

Sincerely, a logical girl."

This post got me thinking about different women's opinions and how I honestly feel about "logical girl" right now and I wanted to address a few things.

Dear logical girl,
Please let it be known that I do not wear makeup because I am insecure or because I feel ugly without it. I wear it because I feel fabulous when I have it on, I wear it because it can enhance certain features, and I wear it because quite frankly I am good at doing it. Give me the opportunity to do your makeup and I can nearly guarantee you will understand my opinion. I feel as though I am speaking on behalf of many women here.

Sincerely, supporter of the makeup industry

Now for my feminist side to come out...

I am all for feminism and feel women should not be confined to what society says they need to be. Feel free to tell any guy who tells you to "make a sammich dammit and get into the bedroom." any variety of swear words and heaven knows if any guy says that to me he would get smacked. To sum up my personal views on feminism and who I think I am as a woman I made a couple lists.

Here is how I feel:

I am a woman.

I am entitled to be fabulous.

I am no one’s property.

I will NEVER be anyone’s property.

I demand respect.

I have a voice that deserves to be heard.

I am intelligent.

I am opinionated and that is ok.

However at the same time I also feel:

I am weak.

I love to feel loved.

There are days I can't open the jar of pickles by myself.

I say stupid things at times.

Sometimes what I really need is a hug.

I think it is ok to admit those things though. I am a woman and I am strong but I am also weak like the rest of humanity and that is ok.

I guess the intention of this post was to speak my mind to "logical girl" and it kind of turned into girl pride which is ok. I want to leave the women with these two thoughts though:

1) Please, please, please don't wear makeup because you think you need it. You are truly beautiful without it on.

2) You are a woman. You are strong. You are beautiful. However, you are also human and that is ok.

     

Roll Me a Joint of Jesus Please

Lately I have been finding myself in an exceptionally good mood and it's not drug or liquor induced. It's just raw joy I have bubbling up in my heart. I decided to look up verses about joy and was able to find one I think really pertained to what I am feeling. It comes from Psalm:

"You will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

Psalm 16:11

What this says to me is we can find permanent joy in God, the father who created us. Drinking in excess, drugs, and other risky behaviors can have a joyous effect too. Some can even put you in a whole nother reality. But when it comes down to it there is no permanent escape. A person has to drink more, smoke more, get high more often or consume higher doses of narcotics. But Christ can be our drug, he's an addiction that has no harmful effects. The more we "consume" him the clearer our path of life is and the more joyous we become, it's just looking at Pslam 16 in a slightly different way. David, the writer of The Psalms, also says "At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore." When we humble ourselves and connect with Christ's heart he lifts us up to a place that is untouchable and full of blessings and love. Amazing peace and joy and purpose floods forth from that place. Just press into him. He is always there waiting.
Now I'm not saying I'm there and I'm not saying I'm perfect but I feel like I've made oodles of progress in my life over the last few months and I'm at a place where I can say I'm joyful again about my life, my purpose in it, and my future and for that I am eternally thankful.  Blessings to you all.

Luke 2:12

Every Christian I have ever met struggles with at least one thing spiritually and mine is accepting forgiveness from God.  I have the hardest time realizing that God loves me so unconditionally that he will just wipe the slate clean every time I ask for forgiveness.  God decided to show me that his love is incomparable and that my sins are always forgiven.

About a month ago I finished the book of Proverbs, which I loved, and I was praying trying to seek wisdom on what book of the Bible I should read next and I kept hearing in my spirit to read Luke 2.  I brushed it off the first couple times I heard it because I honestly didn't think it was going to be all that interesting and I was fairly certain I knew what it was about.  After a couple more days of having Luke 2 on my heart I decided to take a peek at what it was and I was right, I knew exactly what it was about, the birth of Jesus.  Knowing I had learned about the birth of Jesus at least 20 times in my life I decided not to read it.  A few days later I was texting one of my best friends and I asked him to pick a random book, chapter, and verse for me to read.  He replied Luke 2:12.  Knowing he had no idea that the Lord had put Luke 2 on my heart to read I was very excited to see what this verse was going to be. I looked it up and it read as follows in the NKJV:
"And this will be a sign to you:  You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger."

This verse touched me and I remember crying upon reading it.  Everything just clicked for me.  Jesus in the manger is the ultimate symbol of love and forgiveness.  God sent his only son to the earth out of love to die and pay the price for all sins.  God really cared enough for me to remember this so he gave me a verse with a clear declaration, "And this will be a sign to you, [Ariel]."  He reminded me that my sins are forgiven and that he loves me so much he sent his own son to die for me, just like he did for you.

1 in 2 Million

Sometimes in life I find myself questioning my place as well as if I'm really meant to be here to do something great.  This always helps remind me that I have a purpose.

I had an Anatomy class this past semester at Hope College and it helped me to realize just how precious and unique I really am.  It was the last couple weeks of class and we started learning the male and female reproductive systems.  I had learned them before it was just much more detail than I had ever experienced.  At first I was nervous and weirded out but I realized through it all some amazing things and I've decided to share them.  An oocyte, which is the female sex cell, is the largest cell in the human body while sperm, the male sex cell, is the smallest cell in the human body.  The average male ejaculate contains 2 million sperm.  Why am I throwing random facts around?  Well let's see here.  This means that God picked YOU instead of 1,999,999 other sperm that could have gone onto be completely different people.  This all happened before your parents even met!  Once they decided to try for a baby you were created from 2 cells, 2 CELLS.  Did you get that? 2 CELLS!!!  The amazing and complex body you now have was created from 2 cells that happened to be the largest and the smallest cell in the human body.  If that doesn't blow your mind I don't know what will.

The thing is God knew you before your parents had the thought cross their mind to conceive you.  He handpicked you out of 2 million. He put you here on this earth for a reason.  There a great purpose for you and your life is not for naught.  There is something in your spirit that waiting to be stirred and once that is found and stirred amazing things will happen.  Get stirring.

Give it to God

Today was an interesting day for me; however, God taught me a lesson through the crap.  I am loved and for some crazy unbelievable and amazing reason God loves me with all my baggage. He loves it when I am just like "Lord I give up, I can't do this without you and I want to be relieved from stress and anger and everything else by giving you all my problems."  When this happens he gets overjoyed.  He is excited to receive my "junk."  I am fairly certain no one on the entire planet would love to receive my problems on a daily basis.  How very blessed we are to have someone we can take every single problem to. That is incomprehensible every single problem, EVERY SINGLE PROBLEM.  *sigh* Thank you Jesus.

Next time you have a day you don't think you'll survive.  Lift your hands in respect and worship of the Lord and give it all to him.  He wants to hear it, I promise.